I am now of the firm opinion that anywhere I go, I am followed by conflicts! It is so awkward to be surrounded by them all the time. And it is doubly so, when you are also not sure whether you are part of the conflict or not. I stand on the periphery of the situation, wondering whether I could dare to enter in and risk being thrown out!
I stayed with some close friends of the family. Now like every family, this family is also composed of members with strong personalities, and while there was cohesiveness there was also a lot of dissonance. The conflicts erupted out into the open when there was an issue that all of them had strong personal perceptions on. And that is where all the underlying issues also gave force to the conflict. The situation spiraled down to a point when everyone clammed up into a high tower of hurt, revenge and silence. There was it all around....like the thick mist that hung outside the building. Communication totally broke down. Rules of the roles were thrown out of the window. There was a declaration of the kitchen not functioning, that the members could fend for themselves. People walked on egg shells.
How long before yet another confrontation happens I wonder. Where did it all start? I think it did when one member felt unsupported, and was nursing a lot of unmet expectations. She totally clammed up, wanting to hurt as she had been hurt. But instead of keeping herself open to amends, she closeted herself in a tower of silence, refusing any attempts at peace making.
Of course, it is their own way of coping, handling a situation, and who was I to interfere.. But how do I respond? Do I tell myself, you are so much a part of the family, they don't have to keep up pretenses? Or should I pretend everything is normal, and that I am blasé enough not to understand what is happening? Or just pack my bags, apologize for the intrusion in their lives, and quietly leave?
I stayed with some close friends of the family. Now like every family, this family is also composed of members with strong personalities, and while there was cohesiveness there was also a lot of dissonance. The conflicts erupted out into the open when there was an issue that all of them had strong personal perceptions on. And that is where all the underlying issues also gave force to the conflict. The situation spiraled down to a point when everyone clammed up into a high tower of hurt, revenge and silence. There was it all around....like the thick mist that hung outside the building. Communication totally broke down. Rules of the roles were thrown out of the window. There was a declaration of the kitchen not functioning, that the members could fend for themselves. People walked on egg shells.
How long before yet another confrontation happens I wonder. Where did it all start? I think it did when one member felt unsupported, and was nursing a lot of unmet expectations. She totally clammed up, wanting to hurt as she had been hurt. But instead of keeping herself open to amends, she closeted herself in a tower of silence, refusing any attempts at peace making.
Of course, it is their own way of coping, handling a situation, and who was I to interfere.. But how do I respond? Do I tell myself, you are so much a part of the family, they don't have to keep up pretenses? Or should I pretend everything is normal, and that I am blasé enough not to understand what is happening? Or just pack my bags, apologize for the intrusion in their lives, and quietly leave?
No comments:
Post a Comment