In my practice as a counsellor and family therapist, I do a lot of training work and supervision with upcoming counsellors. While most of them show great promise and I am hopeful that the future of counselling is in safe hands, there is still a lot that needs to be done. And I mean personal work, intense inner work.
Counselling is very serious work. We are dealing with people’s minds and feelings. We cannot afford to go wrong here. And unless we are sorted out within ourselves to a large extent, I don’t think it is fair that we hand out platitudes to our clients. The responsibility of self-care and self-growth is tremendous in our line of work. But unfortunately, a large population of the mental health professionals do not seem to understand this aspect or if they do, choose to undermine its importance.
I met a young graduate who was raring to go, and one of the first doubts she asked me was nothing to do with the subject or training. It was: how much do you think we can charge as our fees?
Was being a counsellor just that to her? A source of income? Though no doubt it is a profession and she was going to make a career of it, the focus seemed to be skewed to me. When I gently reminded her that she needed to hone her skills before she even contemplated employment, I am sure it did not sit well with her.
Yet another enthusiast had closed her mind to the kind of population she would not work with, which happened to be children. She said she would not feel comfortable working with them..
I wonder what history went behind her shutting herself off from children... The way the society is moving, I think children need the maximum emotional support in the coming years. What was it in her life that made her uncomfortable handling cases involving children?
Still another candidate who fitted in the above category would be so casual and easy-going, it seemed to be a defence of a quiet storm underneath. She was anxious to be seen as one who was in control at all times. Though this would be a strength in her, it would only be so, if she had worked on the deeper underlying issues, and resolved them. It is not possible that one has no problems to resolve; but according to her, there was nothing wrong in her life. Which seemed to be a total blind spot in her personal Johari Window.
The most senior of therapists come up with issues they are not able to resolve within themselves. The dangers of transference and countertransference is forever lurking in the background. Unless the person is emotionally sorted out to a large extent from within, she would at best be doing what a compounder does in the absence of a duty doctor in a hospital. And with physical wounds that may work. But with emotions, you can never say you know… you can mar a life for a lifetime if you don't know what you are doing…
Counselling is very serious work. We are dealing with people’s minds and feelings. We cannot afford to go wrong here. And unless we are sorted out within ourselves to a large extent, I don’t think it is fair that we hand out platitudes to our clients. The responsibility of self-care and self-growth is tremendous in our line of work. But unfortunately, a large population of the mental health professionals do not seem to understand this aspect or if they do, choose to undermine its importance.
I met a young graduate who was raring to go, and one of the first doubts she asked me was nothing to do with the subject or training. It was: how much do you think we can charge as our fees?
Was being a counsellor just that to her? A source of income? Though no doubt it is a profession and she was going to make a career of it, the focus seemed to be skewed to me. When I gently reminded her that she needed to hone her skills before she even contemplated employment, I am sure it did not sit well with her.
Yet another enthusiast had closed her mind to the kind of population she would not work with, which happened to be children. She said she would not feel comfortable working with them..
I wonder what history went behind her shutting herself off from children... The way the society is moving, I think children need the maximum emotional support in the coming years. What was it in her life that made her uncomfortable handling cases involving children?
Still another candidate who fitted in the above category would be so casual and easy-going, it seemed to be a defence of a quiet storm underneath. She was anxious to be seen as one who was in control at all times. Though this would be a strength in her, it would only be so, if she had worked on the deeper underlying issues, and resolved them. It is not possible that one has no problems to resolve; but according to her, there was nothing wrong in her life. Which seemed to be a total blind spot in her personal Johari Window.
And finally the kind who feel they have the power to change the world: and that the responsibility for the client being healed rested solely on their young shoulders. These people are the most dangerous ones. The sense of omnipotence they exude is frightening. They believe they have the power to correct a lot of wrongs, which has the danger of making them extremely judgemental and opinionated, two of the greatest faults in a counsellor.
The most senior of therapists come up with issues they are not able to resolve within themselves. The dangers of transference and countertransference is forever lurking in the background. Unless the person is emotionally sorted out to a large extent from within, she would at best be doing what a compounder does in the absence of a duty doctor in a hospital. And with physical wounds that may work. But with emotions, you can never say you know… you can mar a life for a lifetime if you don't know what you are doing…
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