Who says it only takes enemies to cast shadows in your life? The shadows cast by your own are darker and longer, and it takes quite a while for the sun to shine again through such shadows.
A couple of so-called close people suddenly dropped out of my life, existing just on the periphery, for the sake of appearances, I guess. The drift was not very obvious, just subtle messages, but the change in frequency was evident. People grow apart, dynamics of relationships change, and we
need to learn to move on, I told myself.
A bolt of thunder shook my world; there was an apparent coming together in sorrow. But it was just that: An apparent coming together. The bond came unstuck slowly, which is worse than ripping the Band-Aid at one go. But unstuck it does come, and you clean the wound and leave it open for
fresh air to heal it, until only a scar is left behind.
In my case however, it did not happen. The Band-Aid kept being ripped again and again, and I was being slowly sucked into a vortex of emotions till I felt tired and drained. These so called well-meaning people kept touching my life through various other people, projecting a persona of care
and concern, building a tower of empathy around them, and alienating me from them too. I watched, helpless and silent, and wondered which hurt I wanted to handle first: them moving away and the relationships dying out, or my own being sucked away from me and my own, who no longer even wanted to know what had happened, from my perspective.
I was advised to approach the dissenters at least once, and confront them for doing this to my life. I have also wondered why I haven't done so...
And I have come to realize that I have indeed outgrown the relationship, it is only the residual hurts, which I know I will get over, and my cynicism is temporary. What I was unable to handle was how they continued to interrupt my life, and sprinkle distaste now and then, exposing wounds that
had not yet healed.
Besides, what right did I actually have to tell them to get out of my life? None... And that is why I am not able to protect myself because people this side of the fence are willing to throw open the gates for them to walk in, throw the dart and fade out... Again... And again.... And again...
A couple of so-called close people suddenly dropped out of my life, existing just on the periphery, for the sake of appearances, I guess. The drift was not very obvious, just subtle messages, but the change in frequency was evident. People grow apart, dynamics of relationships change, and we
need to learn to move on, I told myself.
A bolt of thunder shook my world; there was an apparent coming together in sorrow. But it was just that: An apparent coming together. The bond came unstuck slowly, which is worse than ripping the Band-Aid at one go. But unstuck it does come, and you clean the wound and leave it open for
fresh air to heal it, until only a scar is left behind.
In my case however, it did not happen. The Band-Aid kept being ripped again and again, and I was being slowly sucked into a vortex of emotions till I felt tired and drained. These so called well-meaning people kept touching my life through various other people, projecting a persona of care
and concern, building a tower of empathy around them, and alienating me from them too. I watched, helpless and silent, and wondered which hurt I wanted to handle first: them moving away and the relationships dying out, or my own being sucked away from me and my own, who no longer even wanted to know what had happened, from my perspective.
I was advised to approach the dissenters at least once, and confront them for doing this to my life. I have also wondered why I haven't done so...
And I have come to realize that I have indeed outgrown the relationship, it is only the residual hurts, which I know I will get over, and my cynicism is temporary. What I was unable to handle was how they continued to interrupt my life, and sprinkle distaste now and then, exposing wounds that
had not yet healed.
Besides, what right did I actually have to tell them to get out of my life? None... And that is why I am not able to protect myself because people this side of the fence are willing to throw open the gates for them to walk in, throw the dart and fade out... Again... And again.... And again...
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