Saturday 21 June 2014

Relationships


It is relationships again.  My observation of how frail they are, and how less it seems to matter to one till we come to the brink of a dangerous  precipice where we are almost on the brink of slipping. 

Why do we do this all the time I wonder?  Is it because we have the supreme confidence that we are bound by a label we give to its existence, and hence become complacent?  Instead of treating it like a plant of a rare variety, which we tend to with a lot of attention, and nurturing, we tend to treat it like a bush of country rose, which grows untended, but still gives us lovely blooms. Till the groundwater is depleted, or vital roots are cut away, and the plant finally gives up, tired and gasping. 

Sometimes, however, we also get a little fed up of the plant, and would like to replace it. But I guess that happens only when it is barren, there is nothing to resonate with, and it is an effort, just tending to it.  That is why, everything I guess is a two way process, an energy exchange.

When you do not feel like taking a call, or making one to someone, when the person is not automatically in your thoughts when you feel like sharing, when a conversation with someone is stilted and it is an effort to carry on, I guess you can safely conclude there is something amiss.  Either you have grown apart, or there is simply a dead end;  then you either redefine the relationship, or simply end it there.  Rather that I guess, than go through the motions of pretenses, which only serves to strain both you and the relationship further.

I resort to redefining.  Simply because sometimes the frequency mismatch is so huge that even talking about it to the person may not help.  I mean, that is the problem in the first place!

So if we are all clear that a lot of relationships, with labels and sanctions or otherwise, are need-based, I guess we can avoid a lot of hurts and recriminations.