You know what they say about the need to
understand that sometimes there is no mending a fence. How can you, when you
mistake a wall for a fence? I remember
Robert Forst’s poem where he says: there is something that doesn’t love a wall,
that wants it down. I tried, too hard at times, to mend
walls, to just have fences, as, he says, good fences make good neighbors. I too have tried to break down the walls, but
I have only had boulders come crashing down my side.
Take the case of my neighbor who lives in
the flat above mine. I was facing a very serious
problem with a leak in all my rooms, the cause of which was a faulty bathroom
in their flat. No amount of polite
conversations or attempts to make her see reason helped. I only got derogatory remarks and finally it
boiled down to screaming matches, and I was reaching the end of my tether.
Aren't buckets meant for the bathroom
and utility areas? I had them out in the living room and bedrooms to catch the dripping waste water from her toilet! And then I
was pouring it out every time the buckets filled, and yanking my bed sheets out and throwing them away because
there were drops on my bed from the ceiling.
There ensued a great battle of wills, and verbal duels, during which the issue reached
hysterical proportions on her side. To stop her ranting, we put a recorder in
front of her, hoping she would stop the screaming, but she seemed
oblivious to it. I had to finally
resort to legal threats in order to gain entry into their flat, and had to spend my money to repair their
bathroom. I tried to see the lighter side of the situation by telling myself, "technically, I own a flat
and a bathroom in this apartment complex!" Anyway, I got back the ownership of my rooms after an agonizing two
weeks, along with my peace of mind. Or so I
thought.
The leak stopped, though it left stains on
my newly painted walls; and a lot of unpleasant feelings, I bet, even on their side,
and not to mention, a sprain on my ankle as I had slipped on the disgusting puddle in
my bedroom one day. I had also developed a bad
back as I had been forced to resort to makeshift beds for two weeks, and mounting medical bills. But I
fervently hoped it was the end of the matter.
After a month of this episode, one morning,
I saw the sister of this lady, greeted
her and enquired if she would accept some prasadam from a temple I had visited a couple of days
ago. She looked surprised but gracefully
accepted the same. I mentioned to her how we need to put the past
behind us and move on. She agreed and
also said that her sister too needs all the prayers. I then
sent some prasadam for her sister in a
cup.
A day later, I get an obnoxious message from
this lady, accusing me of playing games, calling me a goonda, bad mouthing my
daughter, and instructing me to be ethical.
The entire message reeked of absolute venom and it sent shivers up my
spine all over again. I wondered then
whether I did the right thing by extending the olive branch. And if I happen to have a recurrence of any such
problem, whether I would be able to resolve it in a neighborly fashion. For my
neighbor does not want fences; she only wants high walls. And I hope the walls do not develop more
leaks and bring the building crashing down...
Is it wrong then that I doubt the triumph of being
good? And is it wrong to want to mend fences? If not, should I continue to try? At what cost?
