the water hyacinth

The sound effects, of the boat in the distance, the visual drama of the sun in the water, glimmering like gold, and the spots of silence in the background… It was perfect.  I had seen this only in the movies or read about it in books.  The idea of dissociation crept up somewhere in the back of the mind: the way I should have lived my life perhaps?

The water hyacinth floated gently past me, and I saw the sun peeping slowly, coming up from under the water, the clouds urging her gently to be slow, to take her time like a newly-wed bride.  The  big blob of bobbing water hyacinth came up towards me, on its way downstream, as if to say hey, long time, where have you been all this while?  I have been trying to live I told them, wishing them well, hoping they have a good journey on their way to eternity… Behind them I saw a single, solitary water hyacinth, maybe trying to keep up with the earlier one.   The birds flew over my head, circling over the water, as did the eagles, trying to spot their prey in the water.  The fowl and the geese in the walked around my feet, pecking at the grass for their food.   I wanted to tell the people around to be quiet, not to talk… It broke the pattern of purpose. But then it was their space, their way, their flow.

  The sun aimed at reaching the sky, moving towards sunset.  The birds looked for their food.  The occasional canoe that glided by was aiming for a destination.  The small boats in the distance were busily looking for good catch.    The cock that woke us up, with its loud demanding volume, had done its bit for the day. Where was the water hyacinth going? What was its destination, its purpose?

Have I found mine?  I am not sure anymore… Or maybe I am sure that I have not found my purpose only now?  All my life I lived my roles on the stage, doing what is to be done, saying my lines, and perhaps never once patting  myself for having done well.  The world was dissociated from me, or me from the world?  Not sure.  But when I started holding on to the roles, they were being snatched away from me one by one.  I need to be like the water hyacinth, just moving, just floating gently down the stream, not rooting myself to the water.  Not being the roles, just playing them.  Was that the purpose I needed to find?  Sitting at the banks of the stream, watching the water hyacinth float by?

Mohana Narayanan

October 15,2017