You know what they say about relationships: know them, enjoy them, never attempt to understand them. I never really adhered to this maxim. For me, everything I savor needs dissection. But I understood it does not work with relationships. There are dynamics at work there you would not figure out, undercurrents you are not aware of. And then, before you know you are facing a turbulence you had no warning of, and unless you are able to withdraw quickly, you are in the eye of the storm.
Is withdrawal better, or being in the storm? If it is the former, you are protecting yourself, perhaps even the other person, and all is presumably well. I say presumably because things are not okay till they are okay. Things are not clear until they are cleared. I am not comfortable with just moving on, without resolution. It’s like you are continuing on a journey, leaving some of your luggage behind! You may not really need the luggage, but you only leave garbage behind, not luggage!
Anyway, if it is withdrawal, then I need to handle the discomfort at my level, redefine my thinking, and set rules for myself.
And what if you are in the storm? I would flounder, gasp for breath, even go under at times; but I will survive, for the feeling that I am facing the storm, attempting to set things right, gives me the strength to face it.
Unfortunately, in relationships it is not like that; it is not a choice I can make. The other person does not want to talk about what has happened, and the storm apparently dies down. Or does it? What havoc has it left in its aftermath?
Equations redefined?
Viewpoints altered?
Relationships cautiously handled?
I know I will survive like I always have, but I have started believing more and more in the maxim of how you are molded by your environment and the next time someone tells me you have changed a lot, I am not going to protest, I am going to gracefully smile and say, of course I have; I am not a duck, water doesn’t flow off my back, it sticks there!
Is withdrawal better, or being in the storm? If it is the former, you are protecting yourself, perhaps even the other person, and all is presumably well. I say presumably because things are not okay till they are okay. Things are not clear until they are cleared. I am not comfortable with just moving on, without resolution. It’s like you are continuing on a journey, leaving some of your luggage behind! You may not really need the luggage, but you only leave garbage behind, not luggage!
Anyway, if it is withdrawal, then I need to handle the discomfort at my level, redefine my thinking, and set rules for myself.
And what if you are in the storm? I would flounder, gasp for breath, even go under at times; but I will survive, for the feeling that I am facing the storm, attempting to set things right, gives me the strength to face it.
Unfortunately, in relationships it is not like that; it is not a choice I can make. The other person does not want to talk about what has happened, and the storm apparently dies down. Or does it? What havoc has it left in its aftermath?
Equations redefined?
Viewpoints altered?
Relationships cautiously handled?
I know I will survive like I always have, but I have started believing more and more in the maxim of how you are molded by your environment and the next time someone tells me you have changed a lot, I am not going to protest, I am going to gracefully smile and say, of course I have; I am not a duck, water doesn’t flow off my back, it sticks there!
No comments:
Post a Comment