Are marriages made in heaven?

As a counselor who has handled a lot of marital cases, it is like living every relationship over with the couples.  You feel their individual pain, and their unmet expectations in the relationship, and also the helplessness of the partner who feels he or she needs to just give in for the sake of peace.  Counseling has not really worked there; for if the client is no longer comfortable, and the change is not from within, then it is compromise.  And counseling is not about compromise; it is about acceptance and internalization. 

Like the client who came in the other day, insisting that she just wants an out: she says she has no  problems with her partner, and her children, it is the family she cannot stand, and so she wants to either walk out of the marriage, or just live with the husband and children, and forget the extended family! To give her credit, she also does not claim she is being right; just that she does not WANT to.  She claims she is not able to forget what all has happened in the past, and so she is not willing to forgive.  The husband looked on, helpless, just a mute spectator while the wife raved and ranted.

They are supposed to come back after a while, and she is ready to move out for a while to give herself a break.   But I am also wondering about that one couple, who had been in an extremely stormy relationship and having reached an impasse, for want of any other option, they decided to give a break: both to the counseling sessions, and to the relationship.  The wife came for a couple more sessions, and then dropped out.  The other day, when I was clearing old telephone numbers from my mobile, I happened to come across her number, and just sent her a courtesy message. 

The response surprised me:  She said they were back together, and that she wanted no link with the past, so did not want to keep in touch with me.  I know counselors are not supposed to take the words of clients personally, but I wonder whether this girl was simply being avoidant, burying issues deep within, just to continue her relationship? And any contact with the counselor, who had helped her face her emotional conflicts, was only a reminder of this faulty coping mechanism?

I also wonder if she would be able to completely shut the doors on the past, and start a new life, and so have nothing to do with anyone from her past?  How healthy  would such an attitude be, and how much damage does it do to one’s own persona ? My call would have been a very unpleasant reminder of the conflicts in her life, but if she had resolved them and then got back together with her husband, then my call would not have disturbed her.  And if she had got back without resolving them, I only hope and pray  that she is resilient enough to live out the life she has chosen.