Thursday 1 May 2014

Social Sensitivity? Or just plain Self-importance?


Nothing seemed certain anymore.  Ever since I got the news that a dear friend of mine is in the Critical Care Unit of a hospital, because of an emergency medical condition, I was in a daze. I felt like a helpless warrior in a battlefield, who is suddenly facing arrows from all sides, and is at a loss to know which side the next missile is coming from.

The situation was made more helpless by the fact that the family is a very closed one, and  I was not able to access information directly.  I spent a sleepless night, and then decided to visit the hospital the next morning, even if not to see her, to at least speak to someone who would be able to assure me she will pull through.  The visit was not very successful;  not only was the attendant who was there unable to tell me anything I did not already know; but I was also discreetly told to avoid calling and visiting them till such time that the crisis was managed.  Of course, I understood;   and helpless though I felt, I respected the request.

 I also realized how less importance I attach to such peripheral courtesies.  Like for example, I am aware of some people who have conveyed deep anguish at not being personally informed when there has been a problem or bereavement.  How does it matter how the information reaches you? You know there is a problem, just pitch in and help, instead of having a debate on social courtesies and information flow process!  When my friend’s father- in-law passed away, in the confusion, she forgot to call me, and I got to know after the funeral was over. I just rushed there simply with the intention of wanting to know if there was any way I could help, with food or taking care of the children.  Isn’t that what living together all about?  Holding hands when needed, and letting go when not?

But no, we will sit down to dissect how propriety has to be followed.  And when we are told to back off too, we will insist on showing that we care.  We can care anyway right, without declaring it?  I know folks who will insist on letting everyone know how many temples they visited for somebody’s sake, how many prayer meetings they have held, almost as if they are taking responsibility for the person’s healing!  

Reminds me of the movie where God decided that he needed a break and allowed a human to take over his job! Let us not be under the notion that we are Omnipotent; let us just be a cog in the wheel, in the larger scheme of things, where everyone takes charge of his or her own life and choices.  Let us just be a conduit for a share of any blessing someone is receiving, and do our work silently.  There is enough noise pollution in the world as it is, without our trumpets!

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