Balance is Insufficient

It leaves us with a disconnected feeling when the phone recorded message tells us that there is insufficient balance in our account, hence we cannot connect with the world.  Is it nature’s way of telling us, connect with yourself, you don’t need anyone’s permission to do so, or to recharge your account balance to look within?  It disappoints us when we dial a number and a staid voice says back off I am not willing to connect:  But the underlying message that I get from the universe is different.

I got up today morning, feeling wretched for no reason at all; I thought it was just one of those days, and went about my work, but was preoccupied.  A call from my niece did not help:  they were off on a holiday she said.  I wondered when I would be able to get away from it all, just have a few quiet moments to myself when I would be able to do my own thing without having to worry about schedules, deadlines, to do lists, and projects to be completed.   What a dichotomy right? I mean on one hand I am not allowed access to people at all thanks to a break-down in technology; and on the other I am grumbling about not being left alone. But I guess that is basic human nature: to have what you don’t want and to want what you don’t have.  I cannot run away from the emotional responsibilities that I have and I am unable to disconnect from the effects of possibly doing so. And I am also unable to unthink my thoughts which would free me from the shackles of negative spiralling thoughts, dragging me down like a dense fog.  Running away is never a good thing, I know; but sometimes, running away could get us out of the tornado, to stand, catch your breath and get a perspective from outside of the circle.   And that is the reason, that is the only reason I want to get out of the circle: for a while.